Why I’m Spending New Year’s Weekend Alone

Sitting silently at Kentuck Knob

I was scrolling through instagram the other day when I came across a trending audio that stopped me mid-scroll. “The end of 2023 has come. What a strange, beautiful, challenging year”.

I’d been searching my brain for the right words to sum up how I felt about 2023 and hadn’t found the right thing. It has been such a complex year filled with happiness, grief, and growth. The words, “strange, beautiful, challenging year”, seem to be the best descriptor I’ve found.

Because that’s what it has really been. Strange, beautiful, and challenging.

The way the year has ended is so far from where I thought the year would take me. I could not have predicted the loss of a business or the addition of my new partner. I couldn’t have imagined a New Year’s Eve not performing with the group that was my best friends. I had no idea I’d be deeply hurt in losing one love on AND somehow still fall in love with someone new. I would never have guessed that by the end of the year I would have learned so many new skills, be preparing to travel with a new band, and cherish my alone time. I never thought I’d be someone who bench presses or uses a barbell. I couldn’t have predicted losing half of my income in one month but also gaining so many new beautiful friendships. I didn’t think I’d be going on a December trip or exploring a second national park this year. I couldn’t have imagined still living with the same headache I started the year with. And I could not have guessed that home and alone is where I would choose to spend this New Year’s weekend.

Falling in love with this incredible human was most unexpected in 2023

The longer the month of December has gone and the closer this date has come, the more I’ve contemplated spending the time by myself. It feels right.

My home was/is in absolute chaos right now. I feel like I have been non-stop traveling for over a month and that I’ve been living out of bags and suitcases. The one way I want to feel going into the new year is fresh and settled. I want to refresh my space and make it a calm space to settle in to. I want to cleanse my space of this past year and at the same time, cleanse my mind to.

My hope for this holiday weekend is to grieve, purge, cleanse, and prepare. I spent yesterday morning in my kitchen, going through my tuperware drawer., getting rid of clutter, and creating a more functional space that is welcoming. I spent my afternoon going through drawers, getting rid of things, doing laundry and reassembling my house. I’ve been cleansing and purging. Preparing to welcome in the New Year

When in doubt, clean it out.

I’m spending the rest of this weekend writing, thinking, and setting goals for the new year. Thinking through what I actually want AND how I will get there. I’m trying to create or clean up the systems that allow me to live as my best, most successful self.

I’m choosing intention. I’m intentionally spending this time at home decluttering both my space and my brain. I’m intentionally setting myself up for the most success possible. I’m creating space for the new by clearing out the old. And that, I must do alone.

Wishing you all the love and light this season has to offer,
Katey